An ill-timed truth

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I’ve been thinking a lot about this lately, and having a number conversations about this issue as it relates to connecting in someone’s life. I guess the way to get into this is to say, “there is truth, and then there is Truth.” That is a conundrum of our time when it comes to talking what about is true. We have drunk deeply of the draught of the modern-day pablum, “What’s true for you isn’t necessarily true for me.” Of course, we never define our words in that statement. What is truth? Now, that’s an age-old question! Even Pontius Pilate posed that question when he was looking Truth (the embodiment of God’s word in Jesus) in the face (John 18:37-38)! But, I just haven’t been satisfied with the answers I have attempted (or others)to craft an answer to that question. This is what I have come up with at the present time.

There are two “sets” of truth in which we function, live, and operate. There is the Truth of reality as it is. These are the facts that we mostly can all agree upon when pressed to simply agree that this reality exists. This “kind” of truth is an uninterpreted truth (or reality). It has no valence one way or another, neither good nor bad. It just is, and most of the time, we can generally agree upon it. Gravity, for example, is one of those “truths” or realities. It doesn’t negotiate. It just is. It is up to us to adjust and adapt to it. That is the way this kind of truth is. Take it or leave it, but disregard it at your own risk! So, we can establish that kind of reality or truth without much discussion or debate. It’s only when we get into the business of adding value (e.g., good or bad, negative or positive, judgmental or accepting) that we begin to debate, and by extension of this debate, move away from one another by drawing lines in the sand.

There is also a Truth that is equally as incontrovertible but is in the spiritual realm. One can simply start with the uncaused Cause — God. He is truth, and defines truth for us if we are willing to accept it — a little like if we are “willing” to accept gravity without necessarily the profound consequences of disregarding gravity (like jumping off a building). The consequences are just as profound when we disregard the truth that God has laid out for us in His Word, and while it is not life-threatening, it is spiritually life-threatening. This truth of God is what we spend a lot of our time trying to understand and apply in our lives. It is the “stuff” of teaching in the church (some), and even in the teachings of Jesus.

It is this Truth that I’m talking about when I speak of “ill-timed” truth. There is the truth of my life and experiences that is true for me. There is also a “truth” that stands apart from my life and experiences that would be the Truth I was speaking of above. So, to put it in other words, there is a relational/experiential truth that I know and live, and there is a truth that is reality and the “truth” of God. This is where the rub appears in terms of how we interact with one another. When we are with each other, and we are aware of the other person’s need for direction or support, our tendency is to pull out the big “T” truth. It’s the propositional truth that we generally use to teach, direct, or admonish someone to change. Yet, this propositional truth when it is ill-timed (I’ll define this in a minute), is worse than abusing the person I’m attempting to support and encourage. Worse yet, an ill-timed Truth is like a bludgeon to people receiving it, and places them in a difficult position. If they say something about how badly it hurts them to hear such words, our temptation is to fall back and say, “well, it’s the truth!” On the other hand, if they say nothing and take what is being offered into themselves, generally they end up assuming or concluding that there is something so fatally flawed about them because they can’t make that truth matter. What happens, then, is they are only confirmed in the conclusion that they are hopelessly condemned to living life on this plane of shame and shadow. After all, if they were “better” people, they would be able to appropriate this Truth, and their lives would be improved. The end result is greater isolation and disconnection facilitated by the very people who are trying to connect with them!

I don’t know, call me a crazy idealist, but we have got to find a way to change this in how we relate to each other. The problem, as I see it, is figuring out how to deny myself and my agenda to get the “problem” fixed, and learning to walk with one another in the relational/experiential truth (small “t” truth?) in which we are all immersed. There is a time to speak “the truth in love” as Paul challenges us to do in his letter to the Ephesians, but usually it is far later than we usually think. I think it hinges on just how much we trust God in the interactions we have with one another. Is He really moving? Or, do I have to do something, or say something profound, to make sure that He moves and the person with whom I’m speaking changes in the desired direction?

Now, let me highlight something here. When I asked the question, “Is He really moving?,” our big T response would be… of course! God’s always moving! But, on the small “t” plane on which I live, there are more times than I’m willing to admit that I simply don’t see Him moving at all. As a matter of fact, because I don’t see anything, I assume that He has abandoned me to this abyss we call life. And this is where, we must meet if we are to truly participate in this redemptive journey we are on. When I am tempted to speak the big “T” truth too soon, I stand apart from my fellow traveler and speak propositional truth that is not contextualized to the journey we share. On the other hand, when I walk and talk about the small “t” truths in which we are immersed, and interject how this might be connected to the big “T” truths of God and the reality in which we swim, then the power of the big “T” explodes in the reality in which I live, and with another traveler, I can actually begin to implement it as I walk. The key is the dialogue in which God resides rather than the destination to which we are headed. God is a God of dialogue. That is the stuff of which community is made. He would have never sent Christ into our small “t” world if that weren’t true. He desired a relationship, a dialogue with us. That should be our purpose with one another as well. It’s in that dialogue, living in the space between us, that we will meet and see God. It is a risky place to be, but it is also with this risk we find the profoundness of trust and the level of connection for which we all long.